In the past week, I practiced two gratitude exercises – writing a daily gratitude journal and performing the letter & visit exercise. Initially, I was skeptical that the exercises would greatly benefit me because I always express gratitude to myself and those I am grateful for. However, my initial impressions were way off.
The gratitude journaling exercise consisted of writing three things I am grateful for and why every day for a week. The first two days were quite elementary – I wrote about the most essential facets of my life, such as my health, family, and education. However, the exercise became challenging by the third day when I could not think of what else I could be grateful for. In the end, this small bump in the road became my first turning point because once I took the time to be grateful, I opened the door to the thousands of things I can be grateful for - both big and small (Zwillich, 2018).
Starting the third day, I began seeing the positive effects that are consistent with the research findings. First, I noticed I was experiencing a better work-life habit (Gohar, 2021). In the past, I have always prioritized school so much that I would sacrifice spending time with friends to study for exams, thus creating an imbalance between my work and private life. However, after using my gratitude journal, I realized that there is more to life than school; if I focus only on school, I miss out on the little things that make me happy, like visiting the cat cafe or spending time with family.
I also realized that my levels of happiness increased (Gohar, 2021). Before the exercise, I had very low self-compassion (Santos, 2021). I constantly made upward social comparisons, and whenever I was not the “best” – which was most of the time – I would criticize and hate myself. However, as I reflected on what I am grateful for, I learned that there is more to a person than grades or research achievements. There is love, family, experiences, and the ability to make a fabulous cappuccino. As my upward social comparisons decreased, I became more confident in myself and my ability to make myself proud. To date, that is my most impressive accomplishment.
The letter & visit exercise also had a significant impact on my resilience. After writing a gratitude letter to my parents for 15 minutes, I FaceTimed with them, reading the letter and explaining why I am thankful for them. In both the writing and face timing sections, I realized how much my parents have supported, loved, and shaped me into the strong, resilient woman I am today. I also learned that showing gratitude does not only help you but can also lighten up the recipient’s day because the value you can give someone by simply taking the time and focusing on them is truly incredible (Zwillich, 2018).
My experience in the letter & visit exercise was consistent with research as it helped me foster a greater appreciation for my parents and encouraged me to be more grateful (Lomas et al., 2014). I have always been thankful for my parents, but it was not until I had the conversation about my gratitude that I realized the extent to which I genuinely appreciate my parents. After recognizing this dissonance, I was encouraged to become more mindful of my relationships and the beautiful things in my life, which boosts my resilience, allowing me to pour my efforts into fostering my meaningful relationships (InBrief: The science of resilience, 2020).
I want to continue the two resilience exercises and hopefully make them habitual in my life. I plan on writing three things I am grateful for every day because consistency is key. Be forewarned, writing three good things one is grateful for does not have immediate effects; instead, one experiences lasting effects such as increased happiness and decreased depressive symptoms (Lomas et al., 2014). Since I want to commit to writing in my journal before bed, keeping it next to my bed will (1) better my access to the journal and (2) work as a reminder for me to journal. These two steps will enable me to form my gratitude exercise regularly because I am reducing the friction – any interference to achieving my habit – which increases the likelihood of developing a habit (Wood & Kaufman, 2020).
I plan on practicing the letter & visit exercise once a month because the positive effects of the exercise last for approximately one month (Lomas et al., 2014). Therefore, it is harder to make this a habit because I will be performing it less frequently. However, when I add a reminder to my calendar, I am decreasing any potential obstacles to my goal, which will serve as a friendly reminder for me to complete it and thus increase the chances of forming a habit (Wood & Kaufman, 2020).
Citations:
Gohar, D. D. (2021, October). Gratitude for Resilience. PSYCH 477 – Psychology of
Resilience. Ann Arbor; University of Michigan.
InBrief: The science of resilience. Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University.
(2020, November 6). Retrieved from
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/inbrief-the-science-of-resilience/.
Lomas, T., Froh, J. J., Emmons, R. A., Mishra, A., & Bono, G. (2014). Gratitude interventions:A
review and future agenda. The Wiley Blackwell Handbook of Positive Psychological
Interventions, 1–19. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781118315927.ch1
Santos, L. (2021, January 4). Dump your inner drill sergeant. Pushkin. Retrieved October
2021, from https://www.pushkin.fm/episode/dump-your-inner-drill-sergeant/.
Wood, W., & Kaufman, S. B. (2020, May 20). Wendy wood on how to make positive
changes that stick. Scott Barry Kaufman. Retrieved September 25, 2021, from
https://scottbarrykaufman.com/podcast/wendy-wood-on-how-to-make-positive-
changes-that-stick/.
Zwillich, T. (2018, March 12). Episode 7: How gratitude benefits your brain. Greater Good
Science Center. Retrieved October 2021, from
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/podcasts/item/gratitude_benefits_your_brain.
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