For my PSYCH 477 course, I was assigned to perform an act of kindness with recognition and perform an act of kindness without any recognition on the same day. Prosocial behavior is voluntary and intentional behavior that one performs to benefit another person (Gohar, 2021). In addition, to engage in prosocial behavior, we must have compassion – sympathy, or concern for another person's well-being (Gohar, 2021).
Kindness has many benefits, such as bringing pleasure, satisfying the basic human needs for connection, strengthening relationships by inspiring greater liking of others, promoting external focus of attention, which can distract from an internal bad mood, and advancing personal growth (Gohar, 2021). For example, in Julian's Acts of Kindness Experiment, the participant's overall level of happiness increased by an average of 9.3% after they spent a day performing small acts of kindness (Julian, 2013; Gohar, 2021).
Within the spirit of kindness and gratitude, I performed my two acts of kindness on Thanksgiving day. For my recognized act of kindness, I thanked the grocery store employees and wished them a Happy Thanksgiving (Make kindness the norm, 2021). For my secret act of kindness, I organized the carts in the parking lot, making it easier for others to park their car and leaving the grocery store employees with less work (Julian, 2013; Make kindness the norm, 2021).
At first thought, I would say that my secret good felt more rewarding than my recognized good deed because I know that what I did was very helpful. However, I cannot ignore the fact that seeing the employees with a smile in their eyes (we were all wearing masks) because I thanked and wished them a Happy Thanksgiving is also something that brings me so much joy. I believe that if we only equate acts of kindness with doing things to make others happy at the expense of our happiness, we forget that we are allowed to feel happy that we helped others; we are allowed to reciprocate the smile we put on others' faces.
After performing these acts of kindness, I felt several benefits. For example, I felt happier because I knew that I was making a positive difference in other people's day, such as putting a smile on their faces. Moreover, I distracted myself from the more negative, depressive thoughts that I was having that day. For the ten minutes I spent organizing the shopping carts, I was focused on helping others, not myself, and that felt freeing and made me happier. I have to admit, though, that shortly after helping sort the shopping carts, I felt physically fatigued. However, since I do not do this often, I did not feel mentally fatigued.
Unfortunately, while kindness has many benefits, performing acts of kindness can have negative consequences, such as compassion fatigue and continual exposure to the suffering of others (Gohar, 2021). In other words, through the experience of secondary traumatic stress and/or burnout, one can experience forgetfulness, lowered attention span, exhaustion, physical illness, apathy & anger, and mental health disorders such as PTSD (Gohar, 2021).
Despite the potential downsides of kindness, performing a recognized and hidden act of kindness has taught me that small acts of kindness can indeed go a long way in the lives of others and that of your own (Julian 2013; Adams, 2020). By simply saying "thank you" or being kind to others, you have the power to put a smile on someone else's face, which in turn can put a smile on your face. Through such kindness, we can also strengthen our relationships with others, which can boost our resilience. So I mean it: Let's all be kind and make the world a better place for everyone.
Citations:
Adams, T. (2020, March 30). Episode 5: Help others to help yourself. The Happiness Lab.
Retrieved November 28, 2021, from https://www.happinesslab.fm/coronavirus-bonus-
episodes/episode-5-help-others-to-help-yourself.
Gohar, D. D. (2021, November). Kindness & Altruism for Resilience PSYCH 477 – Psychology
of Resilience. Ann Arbor; University of Michigan.
Julian. (2013, October 15). Random acts of kindness triathlon | the science ... - youtube. Youtube. Retrieved November 28, 2021, from https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=M4ALRY5LyBM.
Make kindness the norm. Random Acts of Kindness. (2021). Retrieved November 28, 2021, from https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-ideas.